Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize