i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Why are your pants in the freezer?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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