dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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