I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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