You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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