How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize