Betty ford says i'm here all night
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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