She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
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i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
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It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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