new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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