Fuck appropriateness.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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