I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize