don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize