Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
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Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
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Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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