You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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