He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
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We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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