Dual....:-)
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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