I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize