Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning. http://tfl.nu/4eyl
  Replies (3) Good night (1385) Bad night (424) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport" http://tfl.nu/at20
  Replies (10) Good night (3068) Bad night (529) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family. http://tfl.nu/yv4f
  Replies (29) Good night (5440) Bad night (606) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel. http://tfl.nu/yi2m
  Replies (15) Good night (3148) Bad night (873)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day http://tfl.nu/4uqd
  Replies (11) Good night (1938) Bad night (4539) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby. http://tfl.nu/h3ux
  Replies (12) Good night (1230) Bad night (4584) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster http://tfl.nu/ujaf
  Replies (15) Good night (3278) Bad night (988) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth http://tfl.nu/5znv
  Replies (5) Good night (507) Bad night (855) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels http://tfl.nu/dxhw
  Replies (12) Good night (963) Bad night (414) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies http://tfl.nu/shv8
  Replies (7) Good night (1338) Bad night (534) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult. http://tfl.nu/xgis
  Replies (2) Good night (379) Bad night (640) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny. http://tfl.nu/7jk5
  Replies (8) Good night (1666) Bad night (358) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something http://tfl.nu/kee0
  Replies (4) Good night (784) Bad night (287) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (506): The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker http://tfl.nu/zneu
  Replies (4) Good night (256) Bad night (646) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance. http://tfl.nu/b72j
  Replies (5) Good night (683) Bad night (420) Order T-Shirt

Randomize