The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize