You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize