Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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