I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize