There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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