Apparently you make a good broom.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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