We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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