so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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