Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize