FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I feel like abortions should bother me more
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
This is the high leading the old right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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