so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
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figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
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I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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