i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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