So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
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Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
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Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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