Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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