I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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