I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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