i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize