She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize