I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize