I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize