Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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