u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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