in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Come see our sink grown plant.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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