My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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