I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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