My room smells like vodka and shame
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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