Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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