Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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