Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize