Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
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stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
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There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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