Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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