Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
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We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
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I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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